Some of you might have heard of this, some maybe not. Basically, while everyone is well aware that Marvel US were publishing Transformers comics all that time back, not as many of you would be aware that it had a cousin across the water, a cousin we call Transformers UK.

Shockwave didn't know about it.

Uhh...before we start, why is it called the 'Virgin's Guide'?

For a number of reasons, the most significant of which is the fact that Virgin (as in the big company that Richard Branson owns) from time to time publishes these great little 'episode guide'-type books about a number of things, TV series, film series, whatever (Doctor Who, Star Trek, James Bond, etc, etc...). But rather than just facts and figures, they have a nice amusing little commentary-style way of doing things.
Additionally, the title of the guide has the meaning of 'guide for the uninitiated', if you like. And there's the fact that I'm a member of Recycled Virgins. And I've never had sex. Oh, wait, was that too much information? ;)

So, how's it work?

You click on an issue, and you go to the entry for it... Oh, you were speaking less literally than that. Well, oddly enough, I don't have every issue of the original UK comic (so, not Armada or any of the Dreamwave stuff). Some stories I've used the original American version, some are scans I've read on the net, some are from reprints, and a few even from memory or summaries. I'm doing these in order, too, so the Guide will unfold in the same way the comic did. This also means that if there's an issue number sitting around that's not a link, it means it's an issue I don't have access to...yet.

Spoilers ho!

It might go without saying, but I like us to know where we all stand on this one: there will be spoilers for the content of these comics in their reviews. I've tried to keep it down where I have to spoil ahead of time (ie, revealing the big twist of issue 150 in my review for issue 6 or something), but I can't promise that that's going to be as total as I might like. Most of the time, though, it'll be something of little consequence. (ie, 'In this issue Optimus Prime says he remembers Megatron's birthday party, but in fifty issues we see that he was out drinking somewhere and missed the whole thing'.)
If you're really wary, though, avoid the sidebars. They refer to stuff from the entire comic run.

So, what are you going to say?

Issue number, cover date, credits, reprint details... Pretty self-explanatory, really.

Plot: A brief summary of the issue's events, accuracy depending on my resources and enthusiasm for detail.

Brill!/Cor!: The memorable moments of an issue, those little bits or scenes that make us glad we're here.

Wicked dialogue: Lines that make you think the writer of the comic must be Shakespeare reincarnate.

Naff dialogue: Lines that make you think the writer must be Shakespeare reincarnate, only with a major literary disorder.

Technobabble: When Transformers first came out, gang, it was 1984. As far as accuracy in fiction was often concerned, science hadn't been invented yet. This is for all those foolish things you don't show to your clever friends when you're trying to convince them Transformers is OK.

Strange cliffju-- er, hangers: As the British book usually had less story pages an issue than its American cousin, the US stories were broken up into little parts to fit into the comic. Unfortunately, the story just tended to stop when the page count was filled, which meant that often the climax to an episode was somewhat less than gripping. (An example that springs to mind is a chapter of Headmasters, which leaves us on the edge of our seat as Fortress Maximus reveals he's from the war-stricken planet of Cybertron. Wow, never expected that from a Transformer!)

International Interest: The UK comic tried to run its own plots, tried to keep their own continuity story going in the meantime, but sometimes the US book (usually unaware of what the UK was doing, I think) would send them a story which just wouldn't fit with it, and the British story had to take some interesting turns.

Britishisms: The UK staff occasionally re-lettered parts of the American strip - sometimes for continuity, and sometimes for linguistic points, lest some poor kid read the word 'armor' instead of 'armour' and die screaming in flames.

First appearances: You know...like, when a character first appears. For the US fans, this might not always be when you think...

Awkward Self-Introductions: You know. The writer's had an overdose of 'show don't tell', so rather than simply have a character introduce themselves to another character normally, or even give us a caption or whatever, they'll work into their everyday speech a reference to themselves in the third person, along with their resumé.

Miserable glitches: Bloopers, cock-ups, nits, errors. Mistakes, in short.

Fact-file/Transformers A-Z: Every so often, the comic would run a little fact-file on a character or characters. From issue 89, they formalised them in the form of The Transformers A-Z.

Tech specs: A lot of Transformers characters have various powers, abilities, modes, design quirks and other mechanical idiosyncracies. We'll keep track of some of them here.

Back-up strip: Most of the time, another strip was running in Transformers, telling stories of some other Marvel property deemed likeable by Transformers readers (this usually seemed to mean that there was a character in it with metal on their body). At the moment I've only mentioned what the strip is, I haven't commented on it (or at least not much).

Notes: Notes. Little points of interest. Things that won't really fit anywhere else.

Comments: My opinion of the piece overall. (Y'know, not like the whole bloody review is my opinion or nothin'...)

Before we start, credit where it's due - Transformers is copyright Hasbro and Marvel, and I'm not attempting to beat them at that, this is just a review site. Also, more immediately, I couldnae have done this without the help, inspiration, resources and memory-jogging (in no particular order) of Liam Kavanagh (Liam's started a few Virgin's Guides of his own, go check 'em out!), The Lizzard, Rockman, Daff and Michael Wesler. If you've helped me in some way and I've missed you, just E-mail me and I'll sort it out.

Updates

8 March 2006: The Guide is back online! Also, a couple of minor fixes to the FAQ.

OK, click here to go onto the Guide...